The Uphill Slide

There is always something.

What’s More Important?


It’s post-Christmas Day. I had such celebratory expectations for the holiday that every illness and death and sad story hit me. Another one! There was a bunch of news like that in my circle. But to be fair, every year brings the same. Ruth (my mother) died ten days before Christmas in 2010, Eva (my mother-in-law) three days after in 2012. Death and pain and sadness never take a holiday.

The sad stories made me appreciate my life and empathize with others’ sad stories. You can be dichotomous. Happy and sad. Celebrating and mourning. And I am, after all, a Gemini.

Still, the week is continuing with that unsettling feeling of returning from vacation as a stranger in your home.

A new collection of toys with a bunch of pieces is waiting for their place in the toy boxes. Should they carve out their own place or become replacements? Same with the kitchen. The cooking tools I brought from home are living on top of each other in the two large and one small drawers. I can’t find what I need without emptying it all.

And my grandson is sick. It’s been come and go. A lingering cough. Up and down fevers. This morning a complaint of aching legs. The flu possibly with onset ear infection and possibly pink eye. A little person assaulted with the germs of the world that the rest of us have become, if not immune, inured to dealing with symptoms. Today I’m sitting at one end of the sofa while he lies on his Finding Dory pillow wearing Paw Patrol underwear with a Spiderman sweatshirt, an armadillo (I think) tattoo on his arm and a Superman sticker from the doctor’s office. We watched Noddy. Now we are watching Troll Hunters (with the recognizable voice of the tragically deceased Anton Yelchin). I should be doing something more.., you know, valuable or productive.

But it can wait. What’s more fascinating than green trolls dancing to drum beats or a large troll reminding me  of creatures in Maurice Sendak’s Where The Wild Things Are?

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