The Uphill Slide

There is always something.

Below the Surface


I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

I wrote down those highlighted words to remember. Words spoke by Rutger Hauer in the original Blade Runner. Replicant or human. It’s the same feeling at the end. An evaporating life.

My lunch friends, three out of the four–single women, joked about dating in your 50s and later. It’s a different era. My grandmothers were both widows for several decades without seeking a new mate. But then came divorces and people looking for the replacement. Our still-married friend requoted another woman’s witticism about replacements, “They’re looking for a purse or a nurse.” We laughed. But the words summed up a philosophy. It doesn’t stop women or men from looking for the one who wants more. But if you want to listen to the story of the ultimate purse-snatching entitled date, listen to Dirty John. This can happen to anyone. You’re not so smart that you can’t be taken in by the person who hones in on your needs while all the time fulfilling their own. Why can’t it be both of yours? It can. And sometimes it can’t.

On CBS This Morning today, Jeremy Piven explained getting into a role. Don’t judge the character because “No one’s a devil in his own story.” So if Jeremy Piven is playing Dirty John, he has to not judge, and even like, that character that most of us would despise.

Words. The short phrase, the sentence, the witticism. Listening not just to words but meaning. Discussion.

I’m not looking for a purse or nurse. I’m looking for someone who can talk about words and ideas and feelings below the surface. Has a passion for knowing other people. and understanding emotions.



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