The Uphill Slide

There is always something.

Sneaking Around


Mini M&M’s in the bag that matches the bright blue candy. Why didn’t someone think of making these a long time ago? They are the perfect ratio of chocolate to hard outer shell. But their compact size means I drop some down my shirt on the way to my mouth or on the bed or carpet. Sometimes lost until I clean. You know the 10-second rule? Doesn’t apply. They’re still good even if they’ve been in the sofa for weeks.

We hide the candy and cookies from Caleb. We want him to eat healthy. Eat as we say, not as we do. If only we had will power to cut out junk food. It’s why I keep playing Affirmation by Savage Garden. It’s my excuse. “I believe that junk food tastes so good because it’s bad for you“. It’s some cruel trick or conspiracy to test our will power and ability to say no. And we fail miserably. We’re weak-willed, so we hide and sneak. Waiting until he’s asleep. Or sneaking past him with our ill-gotten gains. This morning, I was in stealth mode. I walked to the kitchen and turned on the faucet while I quietly got the bag of candy and put handfuls into a plastic cup. He heard something and started for the kitchen. I deflected. Then I took a sock (clean one) laying on the dryer and walked past him. In the bedroom, I pulled a pillow up beside me to hide my bowl in case he ran in. By the time he did, I was done. He saw the bowl. The M&M bowl. But it was empty.

Hey! I’m not proud. But I’m the adult. I’m allowed to eat unhealthy. I’ve done it a long time with some intermittent periods of healthy eating. But I’m always lured back in. I’m hiding and sneaking for his own good.

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