The Uphill Slide

There is always something.

Passionate Cruelty

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Today was the perfect day to finish this writing draft. This special day when people speak of love that should be spoken every day. What color is this day? Red. The color of love and/or passion, so they say. I love strong colors. I love red cars, my favorite of all our cars, the red Jeep Cherokee. My Volkswagen, the first car we ever ordered, a disappointing shade of red. And now I drive a bright red Honda. Reportedly, red is the color of car most likely to be pulled over by the police. Well, actually, it is the second most likely to be pulled over. But does the color red push the foot to the floor in a burst of passionate speed?

Are colors emotional? Are colors passionate? Green with envy. Red hot anger. Yellow cowardice. Feeling blue with sadness. Orange zest. Black storm.

Recently I had an argument about love and passion. That argument was a pivotal moment of life, one of those moments when a burst of light ignites certain truths. It was the moment when I turned.

The passion in the word that day was of sex. Sex may the expression of a great passion of love and devotion or just a physical desire and yearning of flesh. A very long time ago a man told me that he kept a scorecard of sex in secret retaliation against his wife. I think he kept it as a record of her failures. It was later that it occurred to me that it was his scorecard, all the days without the check mark, the record of his failures. It was a scorecard of duty, not love and passion. It robbed the relationship of hope.

Passion is defined not just as the love and sexual desire but any strong emotion including hate. The Thesaurus offers synonyms of passion such as fury and joy and dedication and devotion and misery and suffering and resentment and distress and frenzy, and I add to the list, cruelty. And with suffering, you come to the Passion of Christ which is something I had not thought about in the context of passion. Passion is much more than sexual desire or the ostentatious displays that are rendered as the display of passion. Passion may be quiet in its display of devotion, a total of small things easily ignored as passion.

I am a passionate person who loves many people and many things. I am a person who hates, feels angry, feels distressed, experiences joy, is dedicated, is devoted, is occasionally frenzied. I think I can tick all the boxes. These are the things I know about myself. Don’t you know these things about yourself?

But I’ll end with the definition from Urban Dictionary.

Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind, body and soul into something as is possible.

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